He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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