Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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