i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
