New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
