Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
