so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
