I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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