I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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