So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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