everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
