quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
