either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
