He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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