Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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