I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
