4 words: hood of his car
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
