This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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