dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Everclear isn't food dammit
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
