I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
