I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
No subtext here. People are naked.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
