is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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