My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
