you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
