I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
