what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
