Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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