you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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