I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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