You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
