we have officially lost it.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
