some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
FUCK WHALES
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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