I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
