There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
