your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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