I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
