no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
