I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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