Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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