Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
