it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
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