you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
