Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
