yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
