Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
