One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
