i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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