Whod you bang
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
