she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
