Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
