9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
