i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
