Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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